


Quote the Raven: Caw, caw, Kids!

by Nihlyria



Series: For the love of Ebony [2]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: But there Ebony Death, Ebony dies., Ebony is the character death, Implied Gladio/Ignis, M/M, No Kenny Crows were injured in the making of this fic, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-11-29
Packaged: 2019-02-08 08:39:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12860874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nihlyria/pseuds/Nihlyria
Summary: Ignis has an encounter with Kenny Crow that they'll never forget.





	Quote the Raven: Caw, caw, Kids!

Lestallum was warm as ever when Ignis parked the car. Noctis and Prompto didn’t stop chattering about the upcoming festival in town that, after wearing the adviser and shield down, everyone agreed to go to. 

In reality Ignis agreed for one reason: His coffee supply was dangerously low.

Everyone knew it. It was just one of those unspoken things in the group. Ignis needed his Ebony first thing in the morning or Gladio burnt toast for their breakfast. So the prince and his best friend made it a mission to make sure the older had his coffee and they were rewarded with pancakes and waffles.

But if that wasn’t bad enough, if they spilt the precious drink, it was burnt toast for a week for the culprit while everyone else dined on delicious sugary creations. The adviser had his vice and hell hath no fury like an Ignis scorn.  

Ignis sipped his precious elixir as they walked towards the hotel, twitching some when the Shield put an arm around his shoulders. 

“Let’s ditch princess and goldy locks and do some shopping. Whatya say? Get you more of that shit too.”

“This is my last can... however I don’t trust Noctis or Prompto to acquire our hotel rooms.” He confessed, feeling the pouts of the two in question behind him.

“Hey, we’re capable!! We’re adults too now!!” Prompto chirped, moving to run in front of the older two.

“Yeah! Remember? I had a coming of age birthday before we left! We’re totally adults.” Noctis added, joining the photographer.

“Your reassurance is a comfort...” Ignis said dryly, rolling his eyes a bit. 

“You kids don’t stress out mom. He’s on his last can.” Gladio grinned as he got an elbow to the side. “Hey if the shoe fits.” He chimed. He joined the other two and Ignis hung back a little, enjoying the walk and his Ebony.

Then it happened. 

Like a black and green blur, everyone’s favourite diner mascot knocked into Ignis, his can of precious bean water getting knocked out of his hand and spilling onto the ground. Everyone froze, eyes on the dirty blond, who merely stared at the can.

“Ha! Sorry about that! Here! Have a better drink!” Kenny Crow shoved one of the Jetty Mineral Water bottles into Ignis’s hand. “Caw caw, kids! Have a good day!!” And just like that, the costume mascot was gone.

“Specs...?” Noctis took a step forward, watching the unmoving man closely. “Ignis?” He froze again as the icy glare fixed on him from one Ignis Scientia.

“The crow dies tonight.”

 

* * *

 

No one honestly thought Ignis was serious about killing Kenny Crow over something as little as spilling his coffee, but the three watched their friend, with a blueprint of Lestallum he charmed out of Holly, a complete festival itinerary, and known locations of where the mascot was to appear, plot every last move down to the finest detail. The man was a tactician after all. Best in his class, one of the top in Insomnia and probably all of Lucis. He had spot circled, times written out, major events labelled. 

“Specs, c’mon... We got you more... you don’t have to go through with this.” Noctis tried to reason with him.

“The crow cannot get away with spilling a beverage as sacred as Ebony and go replacing it with... with WATER of all things!” Ignis snapped. He turned to Gladio. “Imagine if it was your beer...”

“Okay, yeah, the crow dies. I’m team Iggy.” The shield announced from his spot on the bed. “You don’t mess with a man’s beverage.”

“So say Ignis does succeed.” Prompto squeaked as the adviser shot him a glare. “Okay when you succeed!! Geeze... he succeeds and Kenny Crow is dead, isn’t that murder?”

“Prom’s got a point.” Noctis tried to reach for the plans, getting his hand smacked in the process. 

“It’s only murder if you’re caught. It’s an assassination if you don’t.”

“And if anyone can get away with it, it’s our Iggy.” Gladio grinned more.

“Thank you for your support, Gladio. I believe a blow job is in order.”

“See? You support Iggy and he rewards you with the best stuff.” 

“He's gonna get you a lady to give you a blow job.... Right. I totally see that happening.” Prompto rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

“No, Prompto, I will be giving it to him myself.”

“See? Best stuff. Ig's got a mouth of a master.” Gladio snickered at the younger blond's shock. “Wicked tongue.”

“Come now, I haven't that much talent.” Ignis turned back to his plans. “I've only had practice on you.”

“I feel honored.”

“Things I've never wanted to know: My adviser sucks off my shield.” Noctis whined then moved to flop face down on the bed.

“Yeah, I uh... never thought you were into dudes there, Gladdy.” Prompto added.

“I'm in to everything. So what's the plan Igs?”

“This is what we're going to do...”

 

* * *

 

The streets were filled with people going to the festival, all completely unaware of the plot to take out Kenny Crow. The mascot was unaware as it danced in the street, oblivious to the lingering shadow that followed. He moved from point to point, until finally noticing something was watching him.

Kenny moved quickly to his next, looking over his shoulder the whole way. He had to be freaking out for nothing, no one would hurt him! He's loveable! But he couldn't get rid of that feeling he was being followed. He looked around, shrugged and continued on his way.

The crow wandered into an alley on his way to his next location when he was struck down, smacking into the ground. He flipped over and blinked a little when he saw the glasses man from earlier.

“What's the big idea, kid?!” Kenny tried to get up, but he was stopped when a well polished oxford pressed down on his chest. “Hey!!”

“Allow me to give you a lesson...” Ignis summoned his daggers then pushed up his glasses. “That one does not spill a good man's Ebony...”

“Seriously?! You're mad about that?! You're a silly one!!” The mascot laughed nervously. He squawked and covered his face as he saw the daggers come down.

Nothing.

“Ignis don't do it!!”

“C'mon it isn't worth prison!” Kenny blinked as he saw the dagger carrying man pinned by a blond and black haired pair.

“UNHAND ME!! HE MUST BE PUNISHED!!” Ignis struggled and cried out when the big crow ran away as fast as it could. “No!! My revenge!!” He reached for the mascot then hung his head in disappointment. “Why have you forsaken me..?” He muttered under his breath.

“Dude, we'll just buy you a ton.” Prompto sat up, tilting his head a little as the adviser looked defeated. “You're kinda taking this whole Ebony thing a little far.”

“Too far?! Prompto! What if someone had broken your camera?!” Ignis spat, suddenly diving towards the blond, trying to find his camera to prove a point.

“Okay, you're done.” Gladio reached down and scruffed Ignis, hauling him up to his feet. “No more playing assassin. Let's get back to the hotel and let these two go have their fun.”

“But... but...” Ignis sighed and shook his head. “Fine...”

“You still owe me.”

“Yes, yes.” The two older walked towards the hotel, Gladio wrapping an arm around Ignis's shoulders.

“Well... let's go do something fun now that we saved Kenny Crow...” Noctis scratched the back of his head a little confused.

“Yeah sure... Just one sec.” Prompto smiled and hurried off out of the prince's view.

 

* * *

 

 

Prompto looked around, making sure that no one was around, then whistled. Kenny Crow came out of hiding, moving over to the blond. He put out a wing and the smaller put a coin purse in it.

“Thanks... We tried. Sorry I almost got you killed.” Prompto said with a slight frown. “He really does need an intervention...”

“It's okay, kid. Ain't the first time someone's tried to kill me.”

 


End file.
